Each time we blog we typically write about an adventure we had or a significant event that occurred. This entry is different. This one is about something small; something that appears to be almost insignificant.
This has been a hard year for Jason and I, for many reasons. It's also been a good year, filled with great adventure and with massive achievements. But, it's been difficult nonetheless. This is the first time in our marriage where Jason and I have had entirely different schedules. In the past, we've been able to come home each day at roughly the same time. We were able to spend the majority of our days together. However, our job schedules have changed recently. Jason wakes up later and his commute is longer, leaving less time at home throughout the week. In many ways the new job has been great, but this was and continues to be a difficult adjustment.
When Jason first got the job, he mentioned being worried about how it might impact our time together. We discussed ways to make sure the new schedule would not impact our marriage negatively. Being us, we also did some research. We read articles from happily married couples who have different routines. There was one article in particular that struck us. It spoke about the importance of making sure that your spouse at least knows you are thinking of them, even if you cannot be with them. A few weeks went by and honestly I had forgotten about the article. That is, until Jason did something that I will never forget. He came home a few minutes late one day and surprised me with these:
I was shocked. He spent his own spending money on flowers for me. It was odd--by going out of his way to buy these flowers, we had less time together that day. But, the time we did have was more cherished and meaningful because of his one small act. I knew more than ever how much I meant to him.
This was the moment I learned an important lesson--the small things are the most significant. The small things are what mean the most; impact your day the most. Those little moments are what make strong, loving marriages last. From that point forward both Jason and I began to embrace the small things.
After work one day I stopped by the chocolate shop in Downtown Newnan to buy him some chocolates, macaroons, and Popsicles. Jason and I always loved going to this shop after work, but they close before he gets home now. He had mentioned purchasing some King of Pops popsicles once, but we never got around to it. So I got him some and brought it home as a surprise. He liked the Thai Tea popsicle the best.
Twice now Jason has come home with these as surprise:
Fancy Macaroons from Le Macraoon Shop in downtown Atlanta. Jason said he went for a walk in downtown during his lunch break, trying to find a small gift for me. He walked two miles from his work before stumbling into this shop. It was a total of four miles that he walked, just for me. He went back to work with a box of lavender, rose, gingerbread, mint, chocolate, and coconut macaroons. A small gift that meant so much. I knew he had to carry those macaroons safely with him as he walked through Downtown, got on the train, and made his way home in the Georgia heat. It was so thoughtful.
Jason also made me some matcha one night as we finished off the two remaining macaroons from the second batch he brought home. In the picture below you can see the praline and vanilla macaroons. Although I didn't get a picture of the others, he also brought back basil, salted chocolate, strawberry key-lime, and black currant.
One night for dinner I made one of his favorite meals, Carbonara.
Jason and I found an app for our phones that we used to help us organize house work. Instead of us spending our limited time together discussing and doing housework, we use this app to help us clean and complete chores without wasting our together time. One of the things I try to do each day is make the bed. One week I noticed Jason had done my chore for me. Before going to work he made the bed, helping to relieve some of my tasks. It's the little things that mean the most.
Jason and I started saying "it's the small things" to each other, always during mundane and seemingly insignificant moments. I never want to forget how important that lesson is. Jason and I love each other so dearly because we work hard at it. We always have. We work hard to remember the big things--to keep our word; to be faithful to one another; to remember birthdays and anniversaries; to say we love each other; to address conflict respectfully and without insulting the other. But, we also work hard to remember the small things-- to take a second to notice how good he looks that day; to bring his wife home a fancy dessert he knows she'll like; to write him an email to tell him good morning; to talk to each other about the random part of the day that no one else would care to hear about.
One more thing before I end this entry. One weekend Jason and I ate lunch at a taco place in a neighboring town. We decided to go on a small, seemingly insignificant adventure together. We thought we'd walk around the square and maybe pop into the ice cream parlor down the street. We ended up finding the old historical cemetery down the road. We walked through the graves, noticing each name, and contemplating the lives these people might have had. We sat on a bench, under the shade of a large tree, as we talked about life and waited for the the ice cream parlor to open. Soon we were ordering a scoop of lemon ice cream and some fancy sodas we had never seen before inside the shop. It was a lovely day, one filled with small and seemingly insignificant events. Those are the moments that are important in life. Those are the times you cherish with one another. You might have a big, fancy wedding that will always be in your memory. But, that big event only happens once in a marriage. It's the every day love you give in a hug, a random gift, or a conversation--those are what keep marriages going; keep life worth living for.
I once said to Jason, "Think about what life will be like when our debt is gone!"
Jason said, "Yes, but it's important to be happy now, even with our debt still here."
What he said hit me hard, and I think he's right. No matter what difficulty we are facing, we have to find ways to enjoy life now--even with the hardship. And, I'm quickly learning... it's the small things that give life and love the most meaning.
To the small things, and to great love!
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